What do you think of my sonnet? - mound & blade serial
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Sonnet II
His eyes were bright, the view on the sheet of fire
Anyone who stabbed a soul alive, and burned his heart
With his own heart, in the dark shadows of Satan
He had forgotten his house innocent
Diablo Summit vengeful of all evil
The sky is one sad, your call to war
Thy will be destroyed, his delight in evil
In the pile of gold he had hidden a sky of stars
We have caught the eyes of God's wrath
Who has the explosion of the clouds and the earth shares were
And it was his loss of thunder from the sky
Oh! Forgive us, Lord! As for the angry tone!
Where once a tyrant does not seem to crown
Nothing was available except a memory too low
***
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Mound & Blade Serial What Do You Think Of My Sonnet?
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5 comments:
Well ... The question can not wait for a sonnet, but certainly a form. Suggestions: "hides a starry sky" is designed to ... Evidence "that the Morning remain hidden." He is "God" when you mention the Almighty, not God. "Add" a "before" evil. "Her last two of the rhyme, the brightness / Sun" is stretching a little bit ... See if you can do better ... and to keep writing
"Hello!"
It was built in a beautiful sonnet. Each line consists of 10 syllables.
WELL DONE!
Cheers:)
Nice .. up.Good good chance to continue working.
This is wonderful - Thank you
It's great!
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